


Dancing Through Life

by lavenderteaspoons



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Campaign: Graduation (The Adventure Zone), Chronic Pain, College, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Necromancy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rainer is a blupjeans kid, Trauma, balance and graduation crossover, fitzroy is ace, rainer was a dancer, the fitzrain is platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderteaspoons/pseuds/lavenderteaspoons
Summary: There are some days where she wants her feet to feel sore after hours of practice, not an hour of standing. Days where she misses the feel of the bar under her hand and spends hours listening to classical music. Days where she longs to feel the spandex leotard against her skin soaked in sweat, to feel her chest rise and fall with labored breath after a performance, the heat of the stage lights on her face. Days where she feels crushed with failure and regret and guilt.(Rainer was a dancer.)
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt & Rainer, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt/Rainer
Comments: 40
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

Rainer remembers the smell of pointe shoes. She remembers the feeling of squeezing her toes into the box and tying the shoe tightly into place. She remembers how the bars felt under her hands, the polish becoming sticky with sweat as the class spent hours at the bar. She remembers the ache in her ankles and feet after practice. And she remembers the feeling of soaring through the air onstage in a grand jete.

She looks down at her legs now, tucked carefully in place against the footrest of her chair, with a blanket settled over them. It’s a plum color, something her uncle made for her, and the knit fibers feel soft against her hands. It’s a good feeling to focus on, especially on days like this, when the pain is bad enough to make focusing difficult, and she has to use the wheel function on her chair. She’s messaged her professors to let them know she won’t be in class, and has let her boss know she can’t come in. Her mom’s left for work already, and her dad has the day off to help her if need be.

Today will be normal, she decides. Today she’ll sit and breathe and take her medication so that tomorrow the pain won’t be so bad. Today is a rest day. She runs her fingers over the blanket on her lap again, and then picks up the book of necromantic spells her dad gave her. It’s actually pretty comforting to read, written out in a way that makes sense and is familiar. The soft leather of the book is warm in her hands, and slowly she allows herself to sink into the spellwork like a soft bed.

Her Notebook chimes gently on the desk, and she startles out of her reading trance, wheeling gently over to check the message. It’s Fitzroy, sending her a perfectly poised message about missing her presence in a spellwork class, and how if she’s feeling up to it he won’t mind pushing her about the nearby park.

She wants to tell him yes. She wants to go on a stroll with him, listen to his awkwardly endearing banter and explanations of things like Boy Cloak Magazine and the fashion statements of different glasses frames. Her hip pulses with new pain as she imagines the chair bumping over loose stones, and she winces. She grabs a quill, and scribbles a quick message back, biting her lip as the pain moves up to include her lower back.

_Sorry, I’d love to, but I’m in a lot of pain right now. Maybe tomorrow though?_

_**Of course! As a knight, I would never want to put a lady in pain, and as such I will remain patient and await your return to society.** _

She grins to herself, feeling giddy at his play-acting and wishing she could rib him about it in person. She settles for writing another short message.

_You’re too kind, good sir._

**_‘Tis but a common courtesy your ladyship._ **   
**_(But for real, I hope you feel better soon. Need anything?)_ **

_I’ll be okay, but thank you. :)_

**_If you’re sure. Holler if you do need something and I’ll be there._ **

_Sure thing Fitz._

Fitzroy Maplecourt. A surprisingly close friend given his overconfidence and general snobby outer shell. However he’s stupidly loyal, enough to curse a poor frat boy with donkey’s hooves for a few weeks. Said frat boy had been harassing Rainer for her dad’s occupation. Fitzroy claims he meant to just make the guy bray like a donkey, and that he was defending Rainer’s honor or some bullshit, but the fear in his eyes was evident to Rainer. She isn’t quite sure if he was afraid that he’d done more than change the guy’s voice, or if he was afraid he’d accidentally cursed Rainer. Either way, they both walked away from the incident, and nobody bothered Rainer after that.

Rainer closes the Notebook and sets it back on the desk, along with the spell book and moves to wheel into the hall. Her leg seizes as she readjusts her weight, and she has to bite down on her tongue to avoid yelping in pain. She holds very still for a moment, breathing deeply through her nose, and then slowly relaxing into her chair. When she opens her eyes, her dad is leaning in the doorway, looking a mix of concerned and proud.

“You okay pumpkin?” He asks, tucking his glasses into his shirt pocket.

  
“Sure,” she grits her teeth in a grimace, and he laughs softly.

  
“Bad day?” He asks. She nods. He makes an affectionate tutting sound with his teeth, and then steps behind her chair, casting levitate and guiding her chair into the hall. She silently thanks the universe for giving her dad the day off, and focuses her attention on breathing.

“Did you take your meds?” He asks as she floats into the kitchen. He steps away to start making some tea, shuffling his work books and files to make room on the cluttered table.

  
“Yeah,” She says, glancing through an open file about some necromantic cult in Neverwinter. Her dad whisks it away, giving her a teasing glare.

  
“Not for you pumpkin,” he says and she laughs.

“Don’t leave your work on the table if you don’t want me reading it.”

  
“Maybe you just need to stop snooping so much,” He sticks his tongue and she returns the gesture. They laugh a little, and then her dad’s eyes soften.

“Are you doing okay? Need me to call Grandpa?” She shakes her head in response.

  
“I’m okay.”

“You don’t have to be in pain if you don’t want to,” He reminds her. She nods.

  
“I know,” He presses a kiss to her forehead, and goes to finish making the tea. He hums while he moves around the kitchen, locating two mugs in the chaos and pouring hot water into both. He sets the mug in front of her, and sits down next to her, pulling a file towards him to look over. She reads over his shoulder, resting her chin on her hand.

“You message your professors?” He comments. She nods.

  
“My boss too,” She says. He hums in response, and flips a page, summoning a quil to scribble down a note in the margin.

  
“How’s uh, Fitz was it?”

  
“Fitzroy,” she corrects gently. “He’s fine, offered to go on a stroll with me,”

“Sounds like a sweet guy,” he grins. “You like him?”

  
“Shut up dad,” Rainer says archly, and sips at her tea.

  
“Aha,” he says, poking her cheek gently. “So you do like him,”

  
“He’s nice,” she admits, and runs her fingertips over the rim of her mug.

  
“So long as he treats you right,” her dad says, taking her hand in his and continuing to read his paperwork.

Rainer treasures her relationship with her parents. They’re supportive as hell, and know what lines aren’t okay to cross when they’re teasing. Her family as a unit is wonderful, communicative. She can’t ask for better parents. On really bad days, she feels like a burden for her disability, but her parents are pretty good at sweeping that insecurity away with movies and films and board games until she feels better.

She’s always been able to talk to her parents about anything, and although when she was in high school there were a few years of difficulty between them, she grew out of it quickly. Spending an awful lot of time with her uncles helped, especially when they decided that cooking was a good outlet for her.

She’s surrounded by people who love her. People who have supported her throughout her life, and continue to support her. People who tell her she’s strong without it sounding like pity. People who tell her that she’s brave, through unspoken actions that speak volumes. Rainer has so much that so many do not.

And yet.

There are some days where she wants her feet to feel sore after hours of practice, not an hour of standing. Days where she misses the feel of the bar under her hand and spends hours listening to classical music. Days where she longs to feel the spandex leotard against her skin soaked in sweat, to feel her chest rise and fall with labored breath after a performance, the heat of the stage lights on her face. Days where she feels crushed with failure and regret and guilt.

Today hasn’t been one of those days, not really. She runs her fingers over the blanket again. She hasn’t thought about dance in a few weeks, hasn’t really found herself missing the routine of it. She suspects that’s because Fitzroy has been actively distracting her, whether on purpose or unconsciously, and today is the first day in a long time that the pain has been bad enough to keep her at home.

Her hip spikes with pain, and she squeezes her dad’s hand in her’s. He sets his free arm around her shoulders, and gently nudges her head with his. She takes a long deep breath with him, and relaxes slightly as she exhales.

“Doing great,” He says softly, and she nods, holding his hand tight and digging her nails into the blanket. He finishes writing something, and then sets the pen down. “Wanna lie down for a bit?” He asks. She nods, closing her eyes as a dull ache settles into her hip, and lets him push her back down the hall.

He lifts her up carefully and helps her into her bed, tucking the blanket around her and dimming the lights. He drops a kiss on her forehead, and sets her Notebook on the nightstand.  
“Ping me if you need something,” He says. She nods, and he leaves. She closes her eyes, allowing her face to scrunch up with pain, and then breathes. Slowly, she manages to drift off, and find a peaceful dark to float in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some small talk.  
> (we're definitely making this up as we go, hopefully I can make it cohesive.)

Today is better, Rainer decides, holding an umbrella and a travel mug of cider in one hand. She’s gliding slowly through campus, allowing herself to slow down a little and observe campus life from afar. There’s a few people out, even in the foggy and misty weather. The quad is quiet save for the odd crunching of leaves and the occasional bursts of gentle laughter from study groups. 

“Rainer!” Fitzroy’s voice is a loud contrast to the peaceful atmosphere, his footsteps slapping against wet pavement as he comes running up to her chair. 

“Hi,” she smiles as he comes to a stop, clutching his back tightly and breathing a little heavily. 

“You’re feeling better right? I mean, I’d hope you’re feeling better but I don’t want to assume-”

“I’m feeling much better,” Rainer cuts him off, still smiling as his face flushes a little. 

“Good,” He says. “May I assist you?” He gestures to her chair, and she nods. Fitzroy steps behind the chair and guides it gently as it hovers a few inches above the ground. 

“Did I miss anything in class yesterday?” Rainer asks as they walk. 

“Not much, we reviewed Section 4 again, which is ridiculous because the old bat has gone over this a million times already,”

“I’m sure it was a needed review,” Rainer says. Fitzroy scoffs. 

“Maybe for some people.” They turn onto a more secluded path, and Fitzroy guides them over to a picnic table under a tree. Rainer pulls out a few textbooks and her notes, and Fitzroy settles into a chair next to her, still rambling on about how the spellwork class is ridiculously slow. They spend some time there, idly chatting about classes and professors. 

“Your birthday is next week, right?” Fitzroy says after a moment of comfortable silence, during which Rainer had been pouring over a history book. She glances up to find him staring at her intently, and she nods. 

“Yeah, it’s on the 6th.”

“Do you have any plans?” He asks. She shrugs. 

“My family will probably have a party, you know how they get.”

“I mean, I've only really met your mother, I’ve no real idea of how the rest of your family is.” Fitzroy picks at his thumbs, glancing down at his hands.

“Oh, they’re all pretty similar,” She laughs. “Lots of loud partying, shenanigans. That sort of thing,”

“That sounds nice,” Fitzroy smiles, something soft and almost wistful. Rainer frowns a little, noticing his minute change in attitude. 

“What’s your family like?” She asks. Fitzroy shifts in his seat, his smile turning a little awkward. 

“Oh, you know,” he says, pausing for a moment. “Small, just me and my parents really. I love them, of course.” Rainer nods, and makes a quick decision.

“Would you like to come to my family’s party?” Rainer feels warm in her chest as Fitzroy’s eyes light up at this. 

“Really?” He asks, sounding a bit sheepish.

“Of course. We can invite Argo and Buddy too, if you’d like. That way you have some people you know,” She says. Fitzroy smiles. 

“I’d love that,” He says quietly. She reaches out to squeeze his hand, and then pulls out her Notebook to message her dad. 

“Great,” She says. “I’ll send you the details tonight,” 

“Wonderful,” Fitzroy grins, and her chest feels warm again. She really likes Fitzroy. “What can I get you for your birthday?” He asks suddenly. 

“Oh,” She says, thinking hard for a moment. “You don’t have to get me anything,” She says. 

“Hush,” Fitzroy says, flapping his hand. “There must be something you need, or at least want.”

“You could buy me a smoothie and I’d be happy,” Rainer laughs. Fitzroy groans. 

“You are too good for this world my lady,” He says, his voice slipping into his formal lilt. 

“Only as good as is deserved,” She smiles, playing along for the moment, giggling. Fitzroy points a finger at her, eyes wide. 

“See?? You’re self aware!” Fitzroy stands up, and begins pacing. “I need to find the perfect gift then, something that is worthy of your honor,” He picks up a stick and pokes her chair with it, and Rainer suspects that if he wasn’t afraid of accidentally hurting her, he might’ve spun her around to make her laugh. 

“Honestly, all you have to do is come to my party,” she laughs. Fitzroy points the stick at her dramatically. 

“My lady,” he says. “I will find the best gift in all the land for you,” He drops to his knees, arm crossed over his chest. “I swear fealty to you my lady,”

“Swear it to me after you pass your math test this afternoon,” she teases. He groans and slumps into his seat. 

“Mathematics is for nerds,” He complains. She shrugs. 

“My mom likes nerds,” She comments, and laughs at the comical way his eyes get big. He sighs then, staring down at his textbook. 

“Well, I’d better study then.” He says. 

Rainer lets Fitzroy walk her back to her neighborhood after their class, and then gives him a gentle hug goodbye. He waves, makes sure she gets inside okay, and then heads back towards campus. Rainer sets her umbrella by the door, and sheds her coat. Her dad is sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over paperwork.   
“Hey pumpkin,” he says, flipping through another file. 

“Hey,” She wheels over to the fridge, popping it open to look for something to snack on. 

“Don’t eat too much, your uncles are coming over for dinner,” Her dad warns. She hums in response, and settles on grabbing an apple from the drawer. She heads over to the opposite side of the table from her dad, and slides some of his paperwork out of the way. Setting out her own textbooks, she settles into a quiet afternoon of study, occasionally leaving for a drink of water or to find a book. 

After some time, her dad sets aside a completed file and focuses his attention on her. “How were classes?”

“They were fine,” she says, closing her textbooks. “Easy workload as usual,” Her dad nods. 

“Are you still onboard with having the party this weekend?” He starts piling up paperwork to clear the table. 

“Yeah, of course. I’m going to invite some friends, if that’s okay.” She says. 

“Sure, the more the merrier,” He shrugs. “You gonna invite Fitzroy?”

“Yeah actually,” She moves the rest of her books off the table. “He asked if I had plans for my birthday,” Her dad looks up at her at this, worry clear in his eyes.

“Oh? You know you can go out with him if he wants to, you don’t have to-”

“Dad,” Rainer cuts him off, laughing a little bit at his sheepish expression. “I love the party. I want to have the party this year,” Her dad holds his hands up. 

“Alright, just checking. Help me set the table? Your mom’s gonna be home soon, I think she’s bringing everyone.” He tucks his glasses into his shirt pocket, and starts pulling out dishes. Together they get the table set, and as they finish up, her mom rips a hole into the living room. 

Rainer has come to associate the sound with chaos, and a flurry of activity rushes into the house. 

“Where’s my baby?” Her uncle’s voice rings out from the living room, and Rainer laughs as her uncle comes sweeping into the kitchen, setting down pans of food to gently pull her into a hug and plant a kiss to her cheek. 

“Hi Taako,” She hums, and he takes a long moment to look into her eyes.   
“How are you doing? Are you okay? No one’s giving you trouble?” He takes her shoulders. “Is it that kid from your spellwork class? I’ll send his ass to the astral plane if he’s-”

“Darling, I’m sure she’s fine,” Kravitz sets a hand on his husband’s waist, a fond smile on his lips as he presses a kiss to Rainer’s cheek,

“Hello my dear,” He says. She smiles back. Taako gives her a firm look, then another hug and moves into the kitchen, shedding layers and pulling out pans, yelling across the room to his sister. Rainer maneuvers her chair to her place at the table, and starts up a conversation with her cousin. 

Her family has always been loud. They’re a rowdy bunch, mixed in with partners to balance out their chaos with some calm, but she loves them for it. She’s beginning to understand the wistful look on Fitzroy’s face. She can’t imagine having small family dinners, can’t imagine life without this chaos.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako is probably the world's best uncle.

Taako hands out plates with practiced ease, trading quips with his sister until everyone has been served. Rainer takes her filled plate with a quiet thank you, and starts eating. It smells good, some kind of pasta dish with white sauce and chicken, paired with rolls and cooked vegetables. As always, the first few minutes of dinner are quiet, everyone individually enjoying the good food and atmosphere. The gentle clink of silverware against ceramic is comforting, and slowly, the table breaks out into smaller conversations. 

“Barry says you’ve been making progress in your necromancy,” Kravitz comments to Rainer, sitting to her right with a humorous glint in his eye. “Be careful, I don’t want to be the one to take you to your grandmother’s for that visit,” Rainer smiles and takes a sip of water. 

“I am, don’t worry. No soul transfers or anything. Mostly theory.” She says. Kravitz nods at this, and Barry winks, leaning across the table to comment. 

“She’s been working on a small project, something with squirrels?” Her dad says, grinning at her. Rainer frowns, and her uncle raises an eyebrow, pausing with his knife hovering above the plate. 

“Going for the army of the undead aesthetic?” he asks. Rainer rolls her eyes and Angus starts laughing. She elbows him, and rolls her eyes.

“No, more like helpful assistants.” She says. Angus coughs on his water, still laughing. 

“Agnes if you choke to death I’ll never forgive you,” Taako says over his glass of wine. Angus doesn’t stop laughing at this, and Rainer joins in a little. 

“I’m serious,” Taako continues, setting his glass down to stab a piece of chicken with his fork. “I’ll write you out of my will,” Angus coughs again, and finally manages to stop choking, still laughing quietly. 

“You’re a menace,” Taako gestures with his fork to Rainer. “You’re gonna kill my kid,” 

“Well, I’m sure if all goes to plan she’ll be able to revive at least his skeleton,” Lup says offhandedly. Angus starts coughing with laughter again, and this prompts everyone else to a least a few chuckles. Rainer rolls her eyes again, and the table settles down. Barry asks Kravitz something about work, and Rainer turns to Angus while her parents and uncles talk. 

“Tell me about Megan,” She prompts, and grins when Angus’ cheeks turn pink. He stirs his food around and grins back. 

“She’s great,” he says. “We’re great,” He doesn’t quite meet Rainer’s eyes, and she presses further. 

“Sounds great,” She says. “But what’s eating you?” She nudges him with her elbow. Angus shoves her back gently with his shoulder and shakes his head slightly. 

“I’ll tell you later,” He mumbles, and Rainer nods. 

“What’s she studying?”

“Molecular Science and Geology,” Angus says. Barry picks up on their conversation and frowns.   
“Like, Magical Molecular or?” He asks.

“Mostly Planar Science, although she’s really interested in Natural Geology,” Angus pauses to drink some water. “It’s a pretty small field, all things considered.”

“Well it’s good that she’s finding a need she can fill,” Lup comments. Angus nods.

“She’s pretty great,” He says. 

“Agnes you sound like Barold,” Taako complains. “You nerds are all the same,” Taako’s smile indicates that he’s teasing, which is good considering how pink Angus’ cheeks are.

Rainer finishes, and moves her chair back from the table. Taako stops her before she gets very far, taking her plate even to her protest and instead walks with her to the kitchen. 

“So what do you want for your birthday?” he says matter-of-factly, washing both of their plates and setting them in the dishwasher. Rainer shakes her head and laughs. Taako is notoriously good at cornering her and getting her to spill whatever he’s looking to find, so this time she just tries to think of something. 

“Maybe a new wand or something?” She hovers over to the freezer, ignoring the way Taako frowns and crosses his arms. 

“That’s what you said last year,” He points out. She shrugs. 

“Fine, a dress then.” She pulls out a tub of ice cream, and Taako pulls two spoons from the drawer, settling onto a stool next to her. They dig into the ice cream, and after a moment, Taako pokes her shoulder. 

“Dresses are not your priority,” He says. “Unless I missed something and you magically grew a better fashion sense,” Rainer scoffs. 

“Sweaters are perfectly fashionable,” She protests. “I think I have a perfectly fine fashion sense.”

“You get that from your dad, I swear to Istus you nerds all dress the same,” Taako rolls his eyes, and momentarily fights with her spoon over a chunk of fudge. “But come on, what do you really want?” 

Rainer thinks. Three years ago, she would have asked for new pointe shoes, maybe a new tutu, or dance bag. Three years ago, she would have begged Taako to take her to the Goldcliff Ballet. Three years ago, Rainer could still dance. Taako wraps an arm around her shoulder, like he knows what she’s thinking, and rests his head on hers.

“I know pumpkin,” he says softly. She sets her spoon down, and looks away, trying to ignore the burning behind her eyes and nose. 

“I don’t know,” She whispers. “There’s nothing I want. I have everything I need,” Taako nods like he understands, and kisses her forehead. 

“Did I tell you about the day I gave your mom when we were on the Starblaster?” He asks. She nods. He scoffs and shakes his head. “Well shut up and let me tell you again,” She laughs a little at this and he pokes her nose. 

“Your mom was going to make to stupidest decision of her life and become forever undead lovers with her stupid nerd boyfriend, and I, the ever loving brother was going to support her damnit.” Taako waves his spoon dramatically.

“Mom says you cried,” Rainer points out, just to be a little shit.

“Hush,” Taako says firmly. “I pulled off the greatest day in all of history because I knew that she was afraid of what becoming a lich would mean. As much as she was excited, she was terrified.”

“Well duh,” Rainer says. “Being a lich is difficult,”

“I’m telling the story,” Taako complains. “Be good and listen to your uncle. One day I won’t be here and then who will tell you all these stories?”

“Your husband is literally death, I don’t think-”

“Ap-ap-ap-” Taako taps her nose again. “Me. It’s Taako Time. I’m telling the story,” Rainer giggles. “Where was I?” Taako digs out another bite of ice cream. 

“Greatest day-” Rainer prompts.

“In history, right.” Taako finishes her sentence, and continues. “Your mom had everything she needed to be a successful lich, her anchor, her memories with Barry. My gift to her was icing on the cake. She didn’t need it persay, but it helped her.” Rainer frowns at this, looking up at Taako, who looks surprisingly relaxed.

“Mom says-” She starts.

“Well, your mom is stupid and I’m the older twin. She didn’t need me to give her the best day of her life. She was strong enough on her own without it,” Taako waves away Rainer’s protests. “My point is, just because you have everything you need, doesn’t mean you can’t ask for extras.” 

Taako makes eye contact with Rainer, and smiles. “So if all you really want is a new wand, I can do that. I can get you the best damn wand there is. Or dress. Or whatever. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me something stupid just to get me to shut up,” He hands Rainer her spoon, and nudges the ice cream bowl towards her. She spoons out another bite. “Whatever you ask me for, doesn’t have to be big or anything. Just make sure it means something to you.” 

“I’m really lucky,” Rainer says after a long moment. Taako hums in question and she continues. “I’ve got the best uncle in the world,” She says. Taako freezes, and huffs out a laugh. 

“Damn right you do,” he says after a moment, shoveling a scoop of ice cream into his mouth. Rainer laughs. 

“Are you crying?” She asks. Taako shakes his head violently. 

“You’re crying,” he mutters, and Rainer rests her head on his shoulder. 

“Whatever you say,” She says, and Taako smiles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rainer learns a few things about her family.

Rainer and Taako sit in the kitchen for a little longer, enough time to finish off the tub of ice cream, and then head out onto the porch to sit around the fire pit that Lup’s put together. It’s cozy, especially when Angus appears from the house with blankets and marshmallow roasters for everyone.

As the evening wears on, Rainer finds herself almost drifting off, content and warm in her chair. Her parents and uncles chat with each other, occasionally ribbing either herself or Angus, and the night grows darker, the fire dying down to coals.

Kravitz suddenly stiffens next to her, as do both of her parents. They all look at each other with wide eyes for a moment, and then stand. Rainer frowns, and sits up a little. Kravitz runs a hand through her hair, and gives the party a shrug.

“Duty calls,” he says. Lup and Barry say their goodbyes as well, pressing kisses to Rainer’s cheeks and tousling her hair. Kravitz rips a hole into the wall, the three of them disappearing in a rush of hot air. Taako stares at them from across the fire, and shrugs, moving around to sit next to Angus and Rainer. He bundles himself up in a blanket with Angus, and makes sure that Rainer has a few as well.

“So spill,” He says, nudging Angus. Angus flinches, and laughs awkwardly.

“Spill what?” he asks. Taako rolls his eyes.

“What’s going on with Megan?” He clarifies. Angus flusters around for a moment, fiddling with a marshmallow roaster, and then hanging his head a little.

“It’s not. Well,” He pauses, wets his lips and thinks for a moment. “We’re both interested in someone else,” Taako nods.

“So you’re not right for each other, that’s okay. Have you guys talked about it?”

“Not different people. Um. Their name is Clay, and we both like them.” Angus’ spine is stiff as he waits for his father’s criticism, or advice. Rainer reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. Angus gives her an odd smile.

“So you want to be in a relationship with both of them?” Rainer says. Angus nods, head down and eyes on his hands, almost like he’s ashamed.

“Oh,” Taako says. “I did that once,” Angus splutters again, apparently caught off guard by this information. This says alot about Angus, given as he’s a good detective, and it’s hard to slip stuff by him. Rainer doesn’t find this information truly surprising, but probably a little more than she wanted to know about her uncle. Taako continues.

“Kravitz and I had a small relationship with Brad from HR?” Angus’ jaw drops. “Yeah, we mutually decided it wasn’t going to work out, and now we’re all good friends.” Taako grins to himself. “Well, for the most part. Sometimes we call him-”

“Dad, I don’t want to hear about your sex life,” Angus groans. Taako laughs and Rainer stifles a giggle. Angus smiles begrudgingly, and his posture relaxes a little.

“I’m just saying that if you want to have a polyamourus relationship, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re all consenting adults. Just talk to Clay,” Taako ruffles Angus’ hair, and kisses his forehead. Rainer nods and takes Angus’ hand.

“You’ve got this,” she says softly. “And if you need some support, you’ve always got us.” Angus gives her a watery smile, leaning over to bury his face in her shoulder. Taako scoots closer, rubbing a gentle hand over Angus’ back and begins humming softly.

They sit and let Angus cry for a moment, until he pulls back and sniffles a little, smiling. Taako smiles back, his own eyes looking a little water.

“Thanks,” Angus chokes out, holding both of their hands tightly. Taako shakes his head.

“Thank you for telling us,” He says. Angus almost starts crying again, and Taako waves a finger in his face. “Don’t start again, I’ve already cried once tonight. Geez, you kids are nerds.” Taako wipes at his eyes and then stands up. “Let’s clean up and go watch a movie or something.”

Later that night, after her uncles have left with Angus and her parents have returned from their work call, Rainer lies awake in bed, thinking. Her heart squeezes at the thought of Angus finding love and being able to love freely. It’s a good feeling, happiness for her cousin, and also a twinge of longing. For something like that. Rainer is in no hurry to be with anyone, but it’s nice to think about liking someone like that.

Pain flares up in her hip for a moment, and she sucks in a deep breath, waiting as it settles and becomes more bearable. There’s a dim flash of light from her nightstand, and she turns, grabbing her Notebook to check her messages. There’s one from Fitzroy, and she flips to the right page quickly.

**Good evening, how fares the lady?**

_Good, my hip hurts as usual. How are you?_

**I would argue that pain shouldn’t have to be normalized, but I understand. You have my sympathies.**

Rainer giggles a little, and watches his next sentence appear.

**Have you thought anymore on a gift for you? I don’t want to pressure you but time is running quickly.**

_No, but I talked with my uncle, so hopefully I’ll have a better idea of a gift for you soon. :)_

**??**   
**I’m afraid I’ve missed the context.**

_Oh, sorry. My uncle says wise stuff sometimes, like make sure gifts are meaningful._

**Ah, very wise indeed.**

_He pretends he isn’t, but he’s a genius._

**With a family like yours, I’m sure he is.**

There’s a little moment of time between his messages again.

**Do you need anything?**

  
_It’s like 2 am fitz._

**I know.**   
**Wanna get ice cream?**

_Is that even a question?_

**Perfect. Be there in 10. :)**

Rainer grins to herself, and ignoring the pain in her leg, she gets out of bed and throws on some shoes, tucking her Notebook into her pocket and pulling on a sweatshirt. Fitzroy usually picks her up in his battle wagon, which is more of a small buggy than anything, but it’s easier than enchanting her chair on a groggy mind. Her mom is in the kitchen when she heads down, and raises an eyebrow.

“Ice cream run,” Rainer clarifies, sitting at the counter to wait.

“Fitzroy?” her mom asks. Rainer nods. Lup hums. “He seems nice. Be careful okay? And ping us if you need anything,”

“Will do,” Rainer smiles, and her mom drops a kiss on her forehead. Rainer heads to the door when she hears Fitzroy knocking, and slips out into the night with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our duo gets some ice cream and talks about some feelings. Which tbh, that's all this fic seems to be, ice cream and feelings. I hope you like ice cream and healthy conversation. I also wanted to just keep a general reminder that this fic is entirely unedited, un beta'd, just absolutely raw. I have not proof read anything past grammar and spelling, and so if suddenly it's updated with no new chapters, it just means I've gone through and added more or changed some minor things. I'll be sure to let y'all know if anything major is changed, but with my class schedule I doubt I will have time for major renovations.   
> Thanks for reading!

Ice cream in hand, Fitzroy parks at a small botanical garden on campus, and they sit on top of the wagon with plastic spoons and a blanket. Rainer lets Fitzroy plop his head in her lap when he finishes his ice cream. He stares up past her face at the sky, and she does her best to keep her gaze to her own ice cream and not on the tiny freckles under his eyes. 

“What are we doing?” Fitzroy asks. Rainer shrugs. 

“Eating ice cream on the hood of your wagon,” She waves her spoon around. Fitzroy rolls his eyes. 

“I was speaking more in general terms. After university, what are your plans?” Rainer pauses at this, and frowns. She hasn’t really thought of after if she’s being honest. Her injury was catastrophic to her dance career, and now she just wanted to make it through university. 

“I was going to audition for the Goldcliff Ballet Academy,” She says, allowing herself to feel sorry for her situation, to feel the hurt that washes over her with the words. Fitzroy rubs his fingers on her knee. Rainer takes a deep breath. 

“I don’t know what I'm going to do,” Her voice catches in her throat, and she tries to clear it. “I was so sure of everything, but now-” She stops, and closes her eyes, willin the burning behind them to stop, to go away, and Fitzroy for all his stupidity does something smart for once and starts talking.

“I was going to graduate from Clyde Knight’s Knight Night School,” He says, reaching his hand out to hold her wrist gently. Rainer opens her eyes to see his gaze fixed firmly on the sky rather than her face. “I was on track for the Honors Program even, an eventual Knighthood. And then I turned my professor into a catfish,” His face goes a little red as Rainer giggles, but he laughs too, and the burning behind Rainer’s eyes calms some. 

“So now I’m here,” He says. “And yeah, sometimes I like to think about what graduation would have been like,” Fitzroy shrugs. “But then I probably wouldn’t have met you, and Argo and Bud, and everyone. And I’d be some stuffy knight some wear in a stupidly shiny suit of armor,” 

There’s a nostalgic longing in his voice that Rainer recognizes with a fierce fondness, and she sets her ice cream to the side and takes Fitzroy’s hand in his. He continues,

“I’m not trying to minimize your pain or your trauma, I just want you to feel like someone understands. Which, believe me I don’t think anyone could truly understand the depth of your personal situation. But the guilt part? The regret and shame?” Fitzroy meets her eyes then, and Rainer has to hold her breath and hold very still because he’s right here, and she’s right here. “I understand all of that,” 

He closes his eyes and squeezes Rainer's hand. She squeezes back, and lets herself cry just a little bit, maybe a sniffle or two. Fitzroy sits up and wraps an arm gently around her shoulders, and she lets herself lean into his frame for a long while, breathing and sniffling. 

“You’re a really good friend Fitz,” She says. “Like, hella good. Ten outta ten, would recommend,” She laughs wetly, and Fitzroy chuckles awkwardly. 

“Sure thing, whenever you need it. I’ll be here! Chivalry and all that,” He smiles, and Rainer’s heart pounds stupidly fast in her chest for a moment. She opens her mouth to speak, and closes it again, weighing her options silently for a moment. Fitzroy’s thumb is rubbing gently on her shoulder through the warm hoodie, and Rainer feels like saying anything would break this moment, but she has to say something. She needs to tell Fitzroy how she feels, she wants to know how he feels, and if there’s a possibility of anything there, or just close friendship. She opens her mouth again, and sighs when the words escape her. 

“Is something wrong?” Fitzroy asks. He’s dumb, Rainer thinks, but he’s not stupid. 

“No,” She starts. “I mean. Maybe?” Fitzroy stiffens, and she hurries to explain before he can start apologizing or asking if she’s in pain or if he’s hurt her in some way. 

“It’s not your fault,” She taps his knee with her fingertips. “I just,” She scoffs out a laugh. “I like you,” There’s a beat of silence, and Fitzroy says,

“I mean, I like you too Rainer, I think you’re a good friend-”

“No Fitzroy,” Rainer cuts him off and worries her lip for a moment. “I like you romantically,”

“Oh,” Fitzroy sounds surprised, but not angry or guilty. “I’m flattered that you think of me that way,” He says, and Rainer wants to laugh out loud at the strain his words take. She allows herself a few huffs of quiet laughter and a quick breath in. 

“It doesn’t have to be anything. I don’t even know if you like me back. I just wanted you to know. I really like you. I think you’re pretty great,” She says. Fitzroy hums with uncertainty. 

“Is it,” He pauses, searching for words. “Is it bad if like, let’s say for a hypothetical situation, that I have no idea how to respond to that?” Rainer starts laughing and Fitzroy sputters. “In like, a way that implies I’ve never had to deal with something like this and frankly I didn’t really get that vibe from you? I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings or anything, I just-” He continues to ramble on through his confusion and all Rainer can find herself doing is laughing quietly. He finally blusters his way to a halt and through a few more chuckles, Rainer manages to speak again. 

“It’s okay,” She says. “Just because I like you doesn’t mean we have to date, that’s not how relationships work. If you want to just be friends we can just be friends. Or if you want to try dating, we can do that. It’s really up to you and how you feel,” Fitzroy nods, and hums quietly to himself. 

“It’s just that I- Well,” he pauses and scrunches his face up. Rainer seeks out his hand again and he squeezes hers once. “I’m not sure that I. Relationships are nice,” he says, seemingly struggling to say what he needs to. “And it’s not that you are unattractive or anything, I think you’re a lovely, capable young woman, absolutely capable, but I’m. I’m not sure if I want…. Sex?” he says the word like its foreign, and Rainer suddenly realizes what he’s trying to say. 

  
“Oh, you’re asexual?” she asks, and Fitzroy laughs in relief and exhaustion. 

“Yes,” he says. “Yeah, sex is. Um, not something I’m super into? And I’m also not sure about the whole romance thing…” He trails off and Rainer nods, her chest feeling significantly looser than a few moments ago. 

“That’s okay,” she says. “You don’t need to have it all figured out. Relationships don’t have to include sex. Sexuality is fluid, right? Labels are just. Ways to explain it to people.” Fitzroy nods, and Rainer continues. “I hope you know that you can trust me? I don’t want you to feel pressured one way or the other about this. Again, I’m super down to be friends if that’s what makes you comfortable,”

“But won’t you be uncomfortable because you have feelings for me?” Fitzroy points out. Rainer shrugs. 

“That’s just something I’ll have to work through. My feelings are valid, but I’m not about to force them on you,” She says. Fitzroy hums in thought. 

“Maybe, let’s be friends. But I will, I promise, I will think about a date. Thank you for telling me your feelings,” He says, and Rainer finds herself smiling. 

“Of course. Thank you for respecting us as a platonic friendship.” 

“Natch,” Fitzroy says, almost a scoff, and Rainer laughs.

“I think your ice cream melted,” Fitzroy points out. 

“I have more at home,” Rainer smiles. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is just a small idea I've had for a bit, any thoughts as to where I should take it are greatly appreciated! I don't really have a plan for this one haha.


End file.
